Aspiring Novelists

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I ate too much turkey and pie, but hey, it wouldn't be Thanksgiving if I didn't gorge myself.  No doubt I'll pay for my sins tomorrow when I hit the treadmill again.

Although much of last week was devoted to cooking and eating, I stole a few moments to work on my book. Steena Holmes over at Chocolate Reality was nice enough to critique the first chapter. Needless to say, it needs some work. I've written a couple of first paragraphs and now I'm not sure which one to use. Since they approach the story differently, I need to select the one that piques the reader's interest the most, soooo I thought I'd take a chance and post them below. It would help if you’d let me know which one you like best.

The long and short of this chapter is, Soledad (my M.C.) has a bike accident, is knocked out, and dreams of her father's murder, which takes place through supernatural circumstances. Then, at the end of the chapter she reg…

Hello All, I hope life is treating you well.  Things are good here in my neck of the woods.  I've been plugging away at the second draft of my work-in-progress, and after several re-writes, the first chapter is nearly finished.

I tend to edit as I go.  Although I've heard some writers argue this method slows the process, my mind has never worked like other peoples.  For me, ideas come in pieces, parts of dialogue, character development and chunks of scenes.  First, I write the main ideas.  Then, comes what I refer to as "The fillers," or the editing portion of my process.

 For example, in my first go round, a sentence may come out something like this:  Despite her reservations, Soledad's curiosity itched at her.  She had to know who was in the bed.

 Okay, so the idea is there, but there's no sense of foreboding or urgency.   Next, comes the pondering part of my writing process, where I sit blankly in front of the computer while it stares accusingly back at me…

Thanks to everyone who stopped by and commented on my submission yesterday.  As many of you may know by now, Steena Holmes over at Chocolate Reality is holding a logline contest.  Young Adult author, Michelle McLean will either critique the winner's query, or the first five to ten pages of their manuscript.

This is a great opportunity for one of us to get some professional feedback on our work. If you get a couple of minutes, please stop by Steena's blog and check out some of the other loglines.  I've got some stiff competition. (: 

After mulling over last night's comments, I revised my logline to include some of the issues that were addressed.  The fifth submission is the latest version of my logline.  I think it is the best one so far, but hey what do I know? (don't answer that).  Anywho, it would be helpful if I could get your thoughts on the piece. Thanks for your time.  I look forward to your feedback.

Final one sentence version.
After her father's murder, …